FACTS Men’s Health Series
A Medical Student’s Experience using FABMs
By: Paul Nurse
Editor’s Note: For our last blog post in National Men’s Health Month, we are highlighting an interview with a couple who eventually found a fertility-based method that worked for them after trying several different methods. Paul Nurse, an internal medicine resident and former FACTS elective participant, spoke with a then-medical student and his wife, about how they discovered the Marquette method and why they decided to continue using it to avoid pregnancy.
Tyler*, a fourth-year medical student, and his wife, Kelli, have been using the Marquette method for the past two years to avoid pregnancy while he was in medical school. The couple loved the simplicity and objectivity of the method, and they successfully avoided pregnancy for the past two years. However, their experience with fertility awareness-based methods (FABMs) hasn’t always been successful.
When Tyler entered medical school, he and Kelli had two young children. They felt somewhat overwhelmed already, and they were hoping to avoid having any more children during the following stressful years. The couple had learned about the Sympto-Thermal Method from their local church, so Kelli decided to buy a thermometer and start charting. Unfortunately, Kelli admitted that she never felt confident in the method: she was unsure how to chart her cervical mucus pattern and wasn’t having much success recording her basal body temperatures. The couple tried to time intercourse on infertile days, but they found that to be difficult and stressful. They felt guilty and uncertain during times of intimacy, always worried that they might become pregnant.
Halfway into Tyler’s first year of medical school, to the couple’s surprise, Kelli got a positive pregnancy test. Although they happily welcomed their new son into the world, they knew that they would need to find a new method to avoid pregnancy from there on out. After doing research into other FABMs, they decided to try the Marquette method.
Kelli was originally drawn to Marquette for its simplicity. She wouldn’t need to track her cervical mucus, and she could simply rely on the objectivity of her urinary hormones to track her cycle. Soon after Kelli gave birth to their third child, the couple started online meetings with a Marquette instructor.
Now, 25 months into their journey with the Marquette method, the couple couldn’t be happier. They have successfully avoided pregnancy, and Kelli feels much more confident and empowered in tracking her cycle and being aware of her fertility. Furthermore, Tyler and Kelli’s communication as a couple has improved as well. They learned to speak more openly about their fertility and found other ways to be intimate during the fertile window. For the first time in their marriage, Tyler and Kelli aren’t living in guilt or fear – they have the freedom to prayerfully discern when the time is right for them to have their next child.
“The couple learned to speak more openly about their fertility and found other ways to be intimate during the fertile window.”
Tyler and Kelli’s story reminds me — a soon-to-be resident physician and proponent of FABMs — of a valuable lesson: although FABMs are natural and beautiful, they are not always easy to use. Their story also reminds me that each couple is unique, and a method that works for one couple may not work for another. Because FABMs offer a multitude of benefits to couples, it can be easy to forget about the significant difficulties couples may face when trying to implement these methods into their everyday lives. Although FABMs seem simple in theory, that may not always be the case in practice. Some women, like Kelli, may not feel confident tracking their cervical mucus. Some couples may find it difficult to communicate about fertility. Some couples may lack the significant commitment that FABMs require from both husband and wife when trying to avoid a pregnancy. I have met women who prefer to track cervical mucus but find thermometers and hormone monitors too complicated for everyday use. I have also met women, like Kelli, who find that urinary hormone monitoring is the simplest and most effective way to chart their cycles.
“Each couple is unique, and a method that works for one couple may not work for another.”
After taking the FACTS elective in my fourth year of medical school, I am forever convinced that fertility is a fifth vital sign and that FABMs are an essential part of health monitoring. I am excited to share the beauty of FABMs for both achieving and avoiding pregnancy with couples, as well as promoting overall well being. I am inspired to learn as much as I can about the various types of FABMs to best help couples find and use the specific method that works best for them.
*All names have been changed to respect the privacy of the interviewees, and all information is shared with permission.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr. Paul Nurse
Dr. Paul Nurse is an internal medicine resident at the Cleveland Clinic. He completed his medical school at the University of the Incarnate Word in San Antonio, Texas. As an aspiring oncologist, Paul has a special interest in fertility-related issues for patients battling cancer. Paul resides in Cleveland with his beautiful bride, Rebecca, and their three young children.
